Every blog should be bombed by at least one Top ten list at the start of the year.
That is rule. No two ways about it. And the title needs to short & snappy.

So here is mine.

TOP TEN NOT SO FUTURISTIC TECHNOLOGIES WHICH I HOPE COME TO CONSUMER DEVICES BEFORE DECEMBER THE 21ST.

[just rolls off your tongue doesn't it]

Also it is very important that the list is in reverse order, so as to supposedly build up the excitement to the No. 1 item, which obviously is on the next page[which obviously will refuse to load leading to click mash and RSI by F5 press]

10. Pressure sensitivity on touchscreens.

This is the most likely to come as even Sony-ericsson has a prototype since 2010. http://www.engadget.com/2010/06/09/sony-prototypes-pressure-sensitive-tactile-touchscreen-hopes-to/

Hopefully, it would convince oldies like me to get on the touchscreen/smartphone bandwagon.

9. Made in China Find-me buttons

What I mean by these is like buttons to turn on the lights and fan, every home will have umpteen buttons each of which activates an audible/visual alarm locating common household items.
My mother has been asking me to make these since millenia, but manufacturing these on an individual basis is economically unsound. Hence, China!

8. Every fridge needs to have an open door alert alarm

Some do this already; all manufacturers need to. It is trivial to put in. {Saves energy, stop global warming blah blah}

7. Traffic "Walk" buttons which are not placebos

Seriously, How hard can it be?

6. Youtube needs to work on stopping giving false hopes.

Audio buffered should not been shown until video has caught up. Simply leads to unnecessary rage.
A better innovation would be Google desktop Video Client(Ad supported[with Ad-block extension in 1 month])

5. Better printer drivers

Who am I kidding, this is what actually causes the events on Dec 21st, when all Hlewet Packtards firmware bug acts up simulaneously to take over the world.

4. Wifi on all public transport

Seriously, would actually encourage many poor facesmash junkies who normally take out their beaten up kia's for a 10 min walk distance.

3. Internet holiday's

School enforced internet bans for schoolchildren, in a hope to save the Generation ZZ from the otherwise imminent judgement day on Planet Zetor(where we all shift to on Solar sail powered space convoys to escape the apocalypse. See 2)

2. Solar sails

Or any promising technology which leads to faster space travel to haul our asses off this planet which is now beyond repair(Sorry climate change activists, unless All of Victoria not so Secret model's pose together we ain't gonna listen).

And finally, *drumroll* *drumroll* *drumroll*

1. Quantum teleportation.[ Spell check autocorrects teleportation as deportation :( :( ]

Star trek , centurions and 1 thousand billion other Sci-fi dramas have been showing us the hallowed future. I believe this technology has the potential to save all of mankind, I mean think about it.

Teleportation eliminates transportation, traffic jams, saves man hours, fossil fuels, thus countries frenzy for the said fuels and thus no wars and thus saving trillions of dollars on defence of which .001 % can be divided equally among health care, jobs & educational scholarships for starving poor grad students like me.

All we have to do now is wait. Cheers!

P.S : Scientists:  Y U NO BEAM ME UP SCOTTY!

Holiday Squashed!

A very happy new year to all followers, non-followers & accidental visitors. Being as this might be the last year civilization may survive(/s), I have decided to try some new things.

Today's new thing is to try and come up with a new dish. A recipe of my own. This has two fold advantages:

1. I get a backup career option.
2. I get to work with chips.

So without further ado here it is:

Recipe: Holiday squashed

Ingredients

2 or more consecutive holidays.

• 2 or more wanna-be social chipmunks.(aka Duckfaces, or those on the way to ADD)
• 1 tag-alonger. and Finally
• Chemical X - The deadly digital or compact camera.

(Source: www.flickr.com/photos/gummypiglet/5471150170/)

Directions 

1. Obtain a Mr Tag along, Pappu, who has a long weekend & wishes to combat the rising boredom levels that his slow office net can no longer kill. He decides to use the bank balance which he usually swims in to go on a small getaway with his social chipmunk friend Tina.
2. Tina is thrilled at the idea and asks if she could bring along Nina, social chipmunk no. 2. Pappu tags along not knowing of the horrors that await him.
3. The fateful day arrives and the trio land up at their intended destination.
4. At that moment, Nina removes from her purse an object so shiny it blinds our poor Pappu. It is none other than, Chemical X - The digicam. Tina asks if pappu has any water with him as she didn't have any room to pack in the bag.
5. From that moment onwards, to the rest of the trip Pappu's is the functional equivalent of a tripod stand capable of clicking repetitive "profile pictures" automatically.
6. Pappu's patience wears thin, but suddenly if God took pity on his plight, a glimmer of hope, the 8GB memory card is finally exhausted.
7. Even though both physically and mentally tired Pappu finally feels happy that he can enjoy the rest 47 hrs of this weekend.
8. At that moment, Nina brings out the bulldozer that rams through Pappu's soul like WWE wrestler Yokuzona rams through Anand Bhatia. Pappu faints and is rushed to the hospital.
9. The doctor informs his friends that their friend has suffered a stroke but wonders what could have caused such a thing on a holiday.
10. Nina casually wonders the same replacing the 32GB card she had kept as a backup.

The End.